my first date

I want to name the following as... My First Date (though someone, somewhere, on hearing that name, would be dying to lay her hands around my throat, press them together, and finish it once and for all)


To be or not to be, is the question.
Now don't ask me what it means, coz even I don't know.
and why, did I say that? well....had I not said it you wouldn't have asked the question[:D]


no, I'll start a bit formally. I mean later, it may go all hoch-poch but first..

DECLARATION
all the characters and incidences mentioned in the following "story" are absolutely real and not at all fictious. Any resemblence with some event or person, living or dead, doesn't mean that I copied it from somewhere!


So in my diwali holidays, i was home for only 4 days and after having talked to her at Kali Bari(its a temple place) for 2 hrs... and having thought about that for the next two weeks, i was really eager to meet her. ya, i'll not forget to credit Divij for playing a major role in that eagerness with all those... "kya PC!", "aise kaam nahi bantaa" and also thank god that i had enough balance in my cellphone coz it charges u Rs2.00 per min to call from airtel to reliance. and so, i called.
"i am standing pretty near to your college. Tum kahaan ho?"
"ha ha!! Ghar par hun. its holiday stupid. Main bhai ke saath diwali ki lights lagaa rahi hun!"
(the very first setback)
I thought when was the last time I did what she was doing and what actually “the son” is supposed to be doing at his home.
then all that usual crap bout family.. and study and friends..
i cleared my throat
"yaar kahin milte hain na... tumhara birthday tha.. n i wished you. that calls for a treat."
(look at that idiot, asking a girl and mentioning at first place that she'll have to pay the bills!)
"tumhari JEE ki treat ka kya hua?"
"ok we'll have a combined treat" i tried to make up for the last line.
"hmm.., u decide the place n i'll tell the time".
"o come on, i don't live here anymore. mujhe kya pata what's good".
"ok i'll msg u by evening".
I had to say,"k then... bye" Ohhh!! i really hate saying that to her.


i checked my inbox for perhaps the 1000th time that evening, before sleeping at bout 2:00 am. and still the last msg was from Vivek.


The Diwali morning, 10:00am:
Maa was quite surprised to see me eager to bath early and go to the roof, obviously i'll like to be alone while calling her.
I thought of that old phrase “pareeksha ki ghari” but fortunately, she called and that too, from a landline no. though I earned some points(at least that’s what I think) by recognizing her voice easily.
her voice came in, "yaar i'll not be able to go too far, so let it be at the Pawan's near your place, at 5:00".
wasn't i glad?


i ate too much that afternoon. slept a bit late and woke up to see the clock ticking at 5:00pm.
ayyy, doesn't really matter. i've heard girls are always late. i ran to get a shave first. being inexperienced in the business, i often have to hear a lot from my Dad. So here’s the dramatic scene: the face full with shave gel and as i touched the razor to my cheek, the phone rang. i ran to reach it before DD could. it was her msg. "stupid kahaan ho!! 10 min se khadi hun road par befkoof ki tarah!"
"Ouch!" something hurt! O Shit! my cheek was bleeding. it was that new pimple that the razor uprooted. and Daddy was all over me. He was shouting at his maximum voice,"I have told u a hundred times to have shave in the parlour. u don't have the least idea what this can lead to......#!$#@$#@%$&^*^&((*)&*$%#!@%$^%....."
i washed my face without shaving and was on the street at 5:20 when another sms struck"forget it! i am leaving. i'll wait upto 5:30 only".
it was bout half a km. i ran at the max of my breath. an idea struck! i bought a chocolate "mini"(yaar i don't earn yet, can't afford more that a "mini") gift pack for fifty odd bucks and reached Pawan's at 5:27 on my watch.


"what for these chocolates?" the red-hot face shouted at me. "u think this would make up for u coming half an hour late?"she added.
"i thought that but only until i saw your face, actually you see, its your birthday gift..belated. rakh lo yaar, at least mere saamne. Baad me bhale hi mat khaana."
"would you like a cold- drink?"she asked, just to break the deadly silence, I think.
"mera galaa kharaab hai", my usual answer.
"then lets have coffee".
i almost laughed. Actually I saw "pyaar ke side effects" last night and i am taking it for granted that the reader too has seen it. I tried my very best to avoid her noticing the stupid expression on my face.
"but the restaurant is closed", she said.
(setback no.2)
"ok lets walk up to the Brijwasi.."i suggested in sheer optimism. now you could see a girl, walking with a chocolate pack in one hand, and a helmet(she came on her scooty which is eventually, going to play a major role as the story progresses) in the other, and adjusting her appearance every now and then; and a guy, about 2 metres away from the girl, with both hands inside the pockets of his bottom folded(note these folds) jeans. as it should have been, this one was also closed. just the sweets were there.
"should we go for some other one inside the main market?" was her next words. now how the hell would i know the answer?
"its too crowdy today, on diwali". and i praised my quick thinking that Dad was somewhere in that market and i said at home, earlier, that i was going to meet Manish. And believe me, my father is smart enough to know that “ladkiyon ka naam Manish nahi hota”.


"chalo fir ya to city ki taraf chalte hain", came in her advice.
"ya, i am game. that'll be cool. only that..."
"what?"
"i don't have any vehicle at home right now"
"my scooty will do. You surely can ride it?"
how could i say i haven't ever tried it.
I said,"actually, i lack both licence, and confidence".
(setback no.3, keep counting)
"and i have both", she blushed-type-smiled.
"u mind sitting behind...?" she asked in doubt.
"no, not at all", I said quickly. how can you say no to that pretty a face?


so, there i was, sitting as far i could from her, on a vehicle with just enough space for two.
i remembered the similar scene from last night's movie and just to start talking, asked "have you seen Pyaar Ke Side Effects?"
just the next moment, I realized what an idiot I was! I mean if she did notice me smiling when she asked for the coffee and now somehow, if she actually relates that incident to the question I asked, I am sure this write-up would have finished with the signature- “Late Prabal Chakraborty”. God is good sometimes, aisa kuchh nahi hua.


as i have always believed, u end up with an announcement on the loudspeaker whenever u try to be restricted to a whisper. didn't get it? the way to city goes from very near of my home. though nothing problematic occured there. a little further, we were pretty slow due to the traffic and i felt someone staring really hard. it was my Didi's student's father. though he is much younger than it would have sounded but after all, he was more of a friend to Dad than to me. and, he did see me at Kali Bari also that day, and not to mention, with the same girl. only this time, matters seemed worse.


that's not all i encountered on the road. two of my "idiot" friends(u'll see why i used that adjective) were on a bike, returning from city side, may be rave, or wherever. and despite the rush, my long hair and the relative "velocity", they recognized their dear friend and within a minute came the sms:"kahaan jaa rahe ho guru? wo bhi itni jaldi me. iraada kya hai?" i had no option but to reply:"yaar plz chase mat karna. just goin to a resto. nothing much. i'll explain all when i return. plz yaar, samjha kar". the guys were sensible enough(oh!thank god) to understand and i got over another hurdle.


it was about a 3-4km journey to Pandit's and she halted the scooty about 30-40m away from the main gate due to the crowd at its entrance which also suggested that it was open. already i noticed the glances. i mean i got to mention, she's really beautiful. plz try not to laugh at what happened next. that male-ish behaviour u know, to just jump off the vehicle and make yourself look smarter by being athletic. i rested my left foot on the ground, threw the right one behind, in the air and before i could detach myself completely from the scooty, the folds of my jeans got too intimate to the kick(or may be it was the stand, i just don't know and neither do i want to know) and
"O.... O...... " DHADAAM!!
she could do nothing but just stand and stare.
she was still standing holding her vehicle staring down at me in confusion when some people, or as i call them:"jaagrook naagrik" rushed to help me off the ground. though i got up before the scene got worse, i noticed her face really red. can't say she was blushing or angry or whatever!
i couldn't help producing a stupid-looking-laugh.


now then, the crowd there was because they were giving diwali gifts to the customers purchasing sweets worth 500 and not because the restaurant was open. they said they could provide packed-food though. but how the hell did it matter?
this time she spoke, "maine pehle hi kaha tha, fir kabhi chalenge. nayiiii! aaj hi chalna hai! lo ab kaho kya kehna hai? aur mujhe ghar par kitne saare kaam bhi the!" i thought, shaayad isi ko kehte hain “sabra ka baandh tootna”
"haan chalo maan liya, saari galti meri hai, saare galat decisions mere, jo maine liye wo bhi aur jo maine nahi liye wo bhi. main hi to filhaal ghar par bekaar hun. tum to mummy ki good girl ho. ghar pe saare kaam karti ho, time se college jaati ho, ladko se zyaada baat nahi karti ho. main hi bas befkoof hun. ab theek hai?" I said all of it in one breath.
there was silence on the other side. I thought thoda zyaada ho gaya shaayad.


at last the two of us were clever enough to understand that none of the restaurants will be found open today and that i knew that she won't agree to go as far as the McD's at rave. there was no point suggesting.


another 15-20 min later we were sitting on a wooden bench(made perhaps, for the fellow shopkeepers) placed outside Maa Vaishno Bakery(its not as small as it sounds, its a pretty well made one) with one cold-drink each. i felt that it has been almost a 30 odd minutes since we last talked. in fact i even didn't have a good look at her after all that mishap at the Pandit's. i paid the bill, and as i stepped outside and was thinking on the idea of a "sorry-yaar" type thing, she was looking straight at me and i unknowingly, did the same. both of us had a serious i-will-kill-u-look and suddenly she broke up in a wild sort of laugh.
"just have a look at your face...ha ha, tumko kya hua kya tha? Tum gir kaise gaye the?”
Again that stupid i-know-i-am-an-idiot smile on my face.


then nothing interesting happened as we walked a bit. this time. I mentioned I'll write all that happened as "my first date" and she literally shouted, "date? u call this a date!"
"and please yaar Prabal, i've already told u: we are just friends ok. i mean i don't want to hurt you but u see, you have got what u desired in life, that IIT tag, but i got to go a long way before i can even think of going along, with someone."
"o come on," i came in quickly "i didn't mean it that way. i mean its been a long time since we both made ourselves clear to each other. aur main ab aisa kuchh bhi nahi keh raha hun ma’am. i remember my promise. par yaar kuchh readable likhne ke liye thoda imaginative to hona hi padhta hai. just a bit of mirch-masala. and i am not talking it as far as... hmm.. i mean like..." and i ended up making a fake sound as if trying to clear my throat. I don’t think she noticed.


and then, to keep it up to "allz well that ends well", though I don’t know whether this was a good end to the disastrous “date” and again, in that same unwilling fashion I said "bye, fir jab december me aaunga, tab kisi dhang ki jagah pe chalenge". Yaar usko bye bolte waqt ye pet-dard kyun hone lagtaa hai, abhi tak to theek hi tha. Anywayzzzz…..,


and then i was back home(with my explanations for being a bit late) before 8:00 pm and it was nice time and mood for the crackers!