PERVERSITY

i like to walk in the rain so that no one can see my tears i like to sit in the dark so that i can't see that i am alone i like to talk to the walls so that no one can laugh at me i like to tear pages off my diary, looks like i can change my destiny i am afraid of being lost, i refrain from open spaces i am afraid of going deaf, so i talk in whispers i am afraid of looking into the mirror, what if i don't recognize my face? i am afraid of choking to death, so i avoid embraces i have tried pretty hard, but i can't remember my name i have wept all night, in return, some joy may appear today i have packed my bags, the passing year may take me along i have broken all glassware, death seems so easy that way i want to remove my heart, it has become a hipocrite i want to kill all those who love me, they are not the ones i love i want to fall in love with death; i know, one day, she'll be mine i just want to have a sudden accident while playing with the knife.